Part of my resolution to myself was to go on a diet. I actually don't want to call it that. Diet seems so negative and like a fad. Lifestyle change is more appropriate. It's not about limiting myself like a diet would imply it's more about supply myself with better options of what I eat. I just want to be healthier and feel better. Losing weight isn't my MAIN goal but it is a goal. I don't really have anything against being bigger. I've been big my entire life and I've gotten used to it. But I do feel like I could be healthier and I don't feel like the weight I am at right now is healthy. It's tough to look at yourself in the mirror and know that you aren't healthy because of the eating habits you have. I don't want to be unhappy because I'm fat; I just want to fix it! I know that if I lose weight I will feel better about myself but I need to do it in a way that is permanent and not just a fad. This is why I feel like dieting doesn't work. With that said this is how I changed my eating habits. I am addicted to fast food. It took me years to admit it but I have come to terms with it. I grew up eating junk food and fast food. Rarely did we have home cooked meals. It was mostly fast food and microwavable food. So as an adult I carried these eating habits with me. The thing is I started learning about all the processes that go into making fast food and what you are really eating yet I continued to eat it. This was when it became apparent to me that it was a full on addiction. It got worse when I could drive because I would just drive to any fast food location and consume more fast food than a normal person would. Portions defiantly play a role into why I am overweight but the bigger problem is what I was eating. After my Dad passed away I made the promise to him and to myself that I would be a healthier person. When I moved back to Austin I cleaned my kitchen of any foods I knew wouldn't be good for me. I stopped eating anything with corn syrup (this includes sodas), meat, and milk. I didn't give up dairy entirely because I still eat cheese and butter but I do so in moderation. I've been trying to eat mostly fruits and veggies and whole grains. So far I've done good. I only recently started the change in eating (I am four days in) but I did feel a change in my body. The first couple of days I felt kind of sick. I was tired and weak feeling but I really think that was more the toxins coming out of my system. I still haven't gotten back up to 100% but I can feel the energy returning and hopefully within the next couple of weeks my body will re-adjust to eating healthy foods and feel better. I haven't eaten any fast food in over a week and I feel pretty proud of myself knowing that. I know it's going to take a while but every little step will help me improve.
On another note. I have been working on starting school. Another one of my goals has been to go to beauty school to get licensed in Cosmetology so I can do hair. I had applied to do this a year ago but because I was under 23 Financial Aid counted me as a dependent on my Dad and wouldn't give me money for school because my Dad made too much. This was a little ridiculous because my Dad lived in a different state and I was making barely any money myself. I am 23 now and I re-applied and they are giving me the maximum! Which is good because now I can actually afford to start school. I should be starting September 13th and I am both scared and excited about starting. I am excited to start working towards what I really want to do and scared that I wont be good at it.
I am back in Austin, Texas. Unpacking all of my stuff has proven to be difficult. I seem to have more stuff than I remember. Hopefully I will finish unpacking this week and not be living out of boxes any longer. My cat Wedge has adjusted pretty well to being back here. He is calmer than he was in California!
